Day late friend.

after a long week of work, i finally have a few hours of sitting.

just sitting in the silence of my apartment, to relax and enjoy my own company.

its a rare thing to be able to do.

the demands on my time are not immense or unbearable. i just enjoy the moments of silence in between, when i get to think or do things for me.

like going to the gym

or running.

making cookies

eating boxed pasta

reading my scriptures

going on a walk to take pictures

enjoying the sun


and here is a random thought. what we want doesn't always come around to us, and maybe its okay to admit to your self that you are who you are.

i'm going to quote a movie.

eat,pray, love.

" I still love you so much." Me. " then love me." I still want you to need me". then need me."

I can't move on, i can't leave you because i know how much it will hurt. its like ripping apart something inside me. to admit that i've failed.

but time and time agian i hear this quote in my head. me "i still love you." then love me. i will be here for you when you are to weak to do this on your own, i will be your best friend when you are alone, i won't let you fail or fall or be alone for too long.

i'm talking to myself. this is what i learned, its okay to love, but at some point you have to admit that you love and its okay to move on. be your own best friend.

i'm here for me. because he won't be.

i still love you. then love me.

its okay to let go. its just the going that is hard.