Maybe It's TIME ....

So, I decided that it is TIME...

Time is an interesting thing, everything takes time, time to mend, to break, to heal, to forgive, to move forward, to fall in love, fall out of love, time to make friendships, to let others go, time to learn who you are, what you want in life, where you are going.

this list can continue on for a while. what i'm getting at is everthing takes time, sometimes time takes to dang long, but when you get to where you want to be, i think its usually worth the wait.

recently I had to wait a very long time, to realize that i wasn't happy in my life, and when i realized that, I then waited another allotted amount of drawn out time to finally be able to truely forgive my self.

and all the things that led up to the event that i'm talking about came from  patience, and alot of time spent wasted on things that didn't matter, which i realize now, and alot of time spent praying. and on the day that time decided to let me move forward, it was through answered prayes, and god that i was able to move forward with my life for good.

and i'm going to tell you guys something. and its going to sound maybe preachy or something, but here goes.

I know that sometimes we hold onto things that just hurt us, they really don't matter much, but they matter to heavenly father, for me i needed an apology from someone that i felt had truely wronged me, and i needed forgiveness from myself, god, etc..  it wasn't until months later when i truely had hummbled myself and prayed about the situation that I was able to have my prayers answered and the weight of the situation removed from me.

what a blessing that has been. the power of prayer is so strong, sometimes things just take time.


anyway I'm happy, I'm healthy and i'm exicted about life, and love and all those other things in between.

Ubber Post. Random things.

So here it goes... This post will be Random things about me, and my life, that are happening or have Happened.

I enjoy Picture taking, and Baking.. I wouldn't say that i'm Crafty.. maybe creative. maybe one day, crafty...

The Baked Goods.

Marks Valentines Cake.

My Nephew Jaxyns Skateboard Birthday Cake, pretty sure I enjoyed making it than he did, getting it.

Hahaha, Poor Les. It turned out a little girly.. but so good!

One of my Favorites. Janas Halloween Birthday cake.

This is By Far the best that i've done. Mint Chocolate chip cake for my dad. I have gotten better. I love decorating and making things for people. He Loved This!

Here are some pictures of my Photos. I like to take nature shots. so its not to exciting. one day i hope to get a more proffessional camera.

These horses were hobbled, so when they tried to walk they had to kind of jump. It scared me so bad! until I Realized what was happening.I totally thought they were trying to ATTACK! haha.



Curiosity Kills the Cat.



Tire Faucet

The Swan, Watching over her Ducklings.


Thats all for today. I will update my life tomorrow.

The Boy

It has been to long.

Life has been good, all drama aside, I can't say that i've been this happy in so long.

I'm so In love. Thats true. i'm back on the path that will lead me to happieness, and i'm so happy that I've found a guy that will come along with me and encourage me to be my best.

I don't know what the future holds, but I know that as long as we follow gods plans, the future will be good. regardless of pains we experience.

I"m so happy to Have such and amazing Boy friend, and Best friend.  He really is the best thing.

Okay. time for work now :(

All Things ShINY and BRIGhT!

Is there anything better than sunshine?
tulips opening in the morning sun, a river or stream clear as ice, fish dancing inside it, basking in the sunlight?

being able to walk outside with out a jacket and boots on?

spring is coming slowly. there is nothing better.
today is easter, we have such nice weather.

I'm so happy, because life is going good. I got a raise at work finally, and they made me a shift lead. which will look good on a resume, i'm really greatfull for that.

I have a wonderfull best friend she's getting married in the temple so soon, and i'm so proud of her hard work, and determination. she's such a good example to me.

we have been friends since the 5th grade, and best friends since 10th. there hasn't been anything better thats happened to me. true friendship is one of the greatest gifts god can give you in this life.

I'm so greatfull for her.

there's also this guy. he gets me in ways i don't think i even understand, but he is wonderfull. I can't imagine where i'd be with out him.
agian, i know that god loves me, he's blessing me so much.

school is almost over, and even though i feel like i'm sinking with all the things i have and need to get done, i will be happy when its done.

Summer is knocking on the door, soon spring will let her in.
I want to start running in the mornings again, and going to the gym 3 times a week.

I want to run a 5k,10k,half marathon or two, and maybe a relay this summer, I want to be a golden child.

more than anything i want to go sit in the temple, and feel the piece and joy that is there. I know i can. I know i will.

healing has been a process, but i'm realizing that some things leave us, for one simple reason. they weren't meant to be.

Its a good realization.

All things shiny and Bright, beautiful and free.

I want to find them, and make them a part of me.
winter is leaving.

It is time.

I'm so glad i can realize things that i haven't before. In this past year i have learned more about who i am, and who i want to be, than i have in a very,very long time.

I'm glad that i have the oppertunity to grow so much.

The future is bright.

i'm excited to see where it will lead me.

how i feel about the last year of my life. in a riddle of thoughts.

Here goes something, but its better than nothing, nothing is the ground beneath my feet.
up here its not cold, i'm not alone. I watch from a cloud as everyone else morns me.
to say i'm lost would be another word to describe the place they sent me.
I can't control the world around me, no i never could.
i see the people as they cry, i wonder how long they'll remember me. did i do anything worth remembering while i was down there.

does it matter how we go? all i know is there were regrets, never spoken, words i wish i could forget.
please tell me i'm not alone, in this.
I sit from a cloud watching my eulogy, a life well spent, trying to fix the messes that i left.
one day I woke up and realized i had changed.
someone told me i don't laugh as much, someone told me i don't act the same.
when did life decide to shape me into such an adult? is knowledge the learning of truth, after proof of sin can cause so much death inside of you.

people think being naive is the way to be, i think its the only way to stay happy. lets pretend that we never did anything wrong, lets pretend were not lost.
all of us searching for some meaning, something bigger to save us from the reality.

cause i'm here sitting on a cloud watching them morn me. I'm not alone in this, I know one day i'll see my kids, one day i'll know the impact my life had.
I feel lost, floating around, everything seems so clear to me. i wait to meet the one that created me,
what will he have to say to me? is he everything i thought he would be?
all the things that led you here, why'd you call me home? i'm sorry for the wrongs i tried to fix.
all i wish is for them to see, open your eyes. keep laughing through the pain, its the best way to stay away from being seen, we hide the messes we created.
they tell me that i don't laugh the same, they tell me that i act different. loss of innocences makes us grow up to fast.
tell me the truth, do you think happieness lasts?
watch you grieve me, sitting on a cloud.
a life lived well.
love the way it all looks now. take back the things i couldn't figure out. it all makes sense some how now.

life isn't the loss of one, its the time spent living that needs to matter. we can't do a thing once were dead. don't waste your innocense on things that don't matter. protect this.

walk through the journey, don't be affraid of the valley of death, when it comes to take you live like you were always ready. its the best way to gaurantee, you're living happy. i promis you.
its worth it.

These Days.

It's been a while since I've wrote anything, so I think its time to give you an update.

so here goes...

These Days

I go to school full time

work part time ( need a new job bad. as always.)

can't wait for summer to get here.

still enjoy running but don't do it nearly enough

just got back from Saint George, visited Vegas and hit up meadow hot pots. i wish i had pictures to post, but they are on other peoples cameras.

I'm still fit enough to have done the Walters Wiggles challenge ( running the treacherous switch backs of angels landing, they weren't as bad as i thought )

hiked Angels landing with my wonderful sister and friends.

am counting my blessings, and enjoying my life as much as i can.

trying to live a little more and have fun

forgiving myself of my past

learning to move forward, versus move on.

learning how to do math

passing my classes

making new memories with new people

forgiving others who have hurt me

singing when no one is listening, and singing when they're listening too

planning to write and sing a song with my dad

going to the zoo sometime soon ( they got the new exhibit opened this month i believe)

trying to except that my Best friend is going to get married. ( I love that girl)

being truly happy

working on going to the temple

Loving

Living

Letting go

Remembering

Learning

Surviving

Thriving

Running

And of course

Becoming

These Days I'm trying my best to Become, and maybe that's the most important thing I'm doing these days. I think as long as we as humans are progressing continuously and trying our best to do good, we are doing something right.

That's all from me.

P.s. Angels landing was really cool, and a fun hike, i recommend it to anyone and everyone. i also challenge you to run Walters Wiggles :)

the one thing we didn't do over spring break was go to the crave and eat frozen yogurt, but we did eat sushi, so maybe that makes up for it. I seriously LOVE Frozen yogurt!

All Of these things

Scuba Diving.

I want to go Scuba Diving in Florida.

seriously, its become a dream of mine. one day I'm going to go.

Scuba diving is so beautiful, i love it.

I just can't wait for better weather, or school to be over. for a new time period in my life to roll through.
I Just need a change. Some adventure, a new identity. Alone time, to figure out me.

I want to feel alive.

I want to scuba dive. run another half marathon. drive to California and play in the sand
dye my hair, learn guitar. sing on a corner. write a song.

serve people. choose a carrier. become.

Mostly I want to Become, a better daughter, sister, friend, person.

I want to forgive, Forget, move forward.

And Become who it is I want to be.